my maiden love letter

My first love letter for my first love.....!!!

The very first time i saw you and when the rhythm of my heart sled down,

i said to myself....

this is not love....!!

when enquired about you, when you spoke so kindly and responded positively,

i once again said to myself

this is not love... this is not love....!!

later on,
when you became my closet friend caring, supporting, guiding and backing for anything and everything

i still said 

this is not love... this is not love....!!

but now, 

when my eyes are full of tears....
while you are departing from me for ever... 

how can i say this is NOT love..... ???